Take back control – or be controlled
One minute you have it all figured out, and the next, it’s unravelling like an old jersey, and where you were once empowered and the boss of your circumstances, everything feels like a big pile of thread that was once a beautiful sweater.
We have all been there, and we know how difficult it can be to claw our way out of something like feels like layers of quicksand that just never stop pulling you down.
There is hope yet. Behold, there is a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, and with a dash of perseverance and just pinch commitment, you can create a recipe that helps you taste the essence of regaining control of your life.
Start by establishing boundaries.
Be frank with yourself about what you need. Respect yourself enough to know that you should but yourself first. It will not be at the expense of your family or children, or friends. If you want to be the one driving this car, start by setting just a few personal boundaries in your life.
Ask yourself:
- Where do I need to establish better boundaries?
- When do I want to be alone?
- How much space do I need?
- Where do I feel underappreciated and taken advantage of
Make the decision. Take the step.
Once you set out certain boundaries for yourself to grow and regain control, take the step no matter how small. It means that you need to start with putting your plan together based on your decisions. It’s totally okay if this is a rough draft that gets crumpled up and thrown in the bin like you’re a pro basketball player. Nobody in the history of publishing ever had their first draft published unedited. So just make one decision. Start there and move towards a plan. You may not set your plan in motion right away, and that’s okay too. We don’t all evolve at the same pace.
Now comes the hard part, and nobody said you need to drive this plan home in fifth gear, but you need to commit, nonetheless. No amount of brainstorming with yourself in the parked car of the driveway before going back inside to the chaos that awaits you on a Tuesday afternoon will be of any use if you don’t commit to getting off you’re a$$ and get going.
Just remember that you are not a machine, and it’s okay to reward yourself. This doesn’t mean you should book a five-day Caribbean vacation because you managed to execute your goals after one week. No, rewards need to be tiny ongoing ways of being good to yourself for making great efforts to regain control of your life.
There is joy in the structure of daily life. By setting boundaries, making the decision, following through with the plan, and committing to it, the last step would be to remember that it is okay to be good to yourself too. As the old saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup, so here’s to getting the “oomph” back that got a little lost along the way.
