Compassion.

Those of us who feel everything so deeply are often the ones over apologizing out of fear of potentially hurting someone’s feelings, even when they have done nothing wrong.

Personal boundaries.

Those who are prone to saying sorry too much in a relationship are often the submissive half and sadly often give their partner the message that they feel it’s wrong to have their own needs and feelings.

Agreeability.

If you care a lot about keeping the peace and preventing conflict, you’re likely to say sorry more than is necessary. You would probably prefer giving an unneeded apology than end up in a fight, right?

Confidence – or lack thereof.

When you’re never quite confident, and you don’t trust your own judgment, making absolutely sure that what you’re doing or saying is right, you can be quick to apologize and simply assume you’re in the wrong.

Anxiety.

Living with an underlying sense of impending doom can lead you to be ultra-sensitive to the idea of situations or relationships going awry, which in turn can spark a disproportionate amount of apologies. Anxiety can cause you to not want to step on any toes and relates to boundaries and confidence, cause you to simply dive into the deep sea of apologizing without sometimes even knowing why.

Ways to stop saying sorry so much

Apologizing for the right reasons is what we need to separate us from the aimless “sorrys’” we hand out so carelessly. Saying sorry can be a powerful tool for building trust and improving relationships. An unnecessary “sorry” creates the potential to undermine your manifestation power. So what now? How do you proceed?

Pause.

Before saying sorry, stop and ask yourself this: “Have I actually done anything wrong here?”. If the answer is no, do not apologize! The urge can be easier to resist if you ask this follow-up question: “If I didn’t do something wrong here, do I really want people to think I believe that I did?”

Express compassion differently.

There is no set way to show compassion and empathy. If you worry about sharing difficult emotions and constantly find yourself apologizing in a relationship, try saying something like “I know that’s tough to hear” or “You can always tell me when you’re upset.”

Know your triggers.

What makes us turn to the word “sorry?” Is it because you bumped into someone accidentally, and without further thought, you automatically say sorry? What about the very acceptable “Excuse me?” Have a little brainstorm with yourself and think of ways that you could transform your words, trying to entirely eliminate “sorry” from that context.

Turn apologies into gratitude.

The next time you feel an apology brewing, think of a way to rephrase it into a statement of gratitude. For example, “I’m sorry you had to run that errand” can easily become “I’m so grateful you did me this favour!”. It focuses your mind on positivity and abundance. Now we are literally throwing positive sprinkles on our cupcakes!